KISS Rant

Ace Frehley created Dimebag Darrell.
This post can literally end with that being said. 

I recently got very excited about an upcoming concert this summer: Def Leopard opening for 'The Hottest Band on the World' KISS. I don't like Def Leopard apart from maybe one or two songs but it would probably be a good time nonetheless. Then there's KISS. I have a love/hate relationship with them. They have a couple albums that I adore and a few albums that I think are pretty cool (and a lot of really, really bad stuff). Across them all they have a handful of songs that are timeless classics that simply rock: Beth, Detroit Rock City, Love Gun, Parasite, 100,000 Years, Strutter, Rock and Roll All Night, among a few others. Love them or hate them, KISS has certainly made their mark in the music (and merchandise) world. 

The very first album I think I ever heard was Destroyer. I'm not sure how old I was but I was at least 6 or 7. I had that record, Paul Stanley's solo effort and Peter Criss' solo album. Well, I didn't have them, they were my brother's. If I'm not mistaken, I think I also vaguely recall a beat down, seen-better-days Ace Frehley megodoll that was my brother's as well. I say mistaken because it could have belonged to a cousin. Anyway... when I was 5 and 6 and on, I knew who KISS were and I even knew some of their songs. That's pretty rock and roll! Right? Of course... at that time KISS was pretty much past their ridiculous peak they had in the 70s but were still big and widely known. This was early/mid 80s (I was born in 79). I particularly remember rocking out to "Tonight You Belong to Me". Typically named song from the 80s, it's so awesome it completely owns! Haha! 

I always wanted to see them in concert. Always. Which is where this post comes in. I have a chance to see them now this summer but... it isn't the KISS I loved as a kid and teen. I didn't buy tickets to the concert and I'm really glad I didn't. While searching for seats I was also reading up on the band to refresh my memory on certain songs that would totally be killer to see live. Then I saw the lineup.... most importantly.... this....this impostor posing as Ace Frehley:

Blasphemy!  

What the fuck?? I know I know. He isn't going by Ace Frehley but he is going by Spaceman in come articles I've seen. But fuck that.... He's wearing Ace's makeup! His outfit! He's even using the same fucking guitars!!! Are you kidding me? Then I caught up on the whole feud that seems to be pretty bad. So bad that it makes me want to read their books to laugh at all the shit slinging going on. I'm dying to read Gene Simmons book, you know, that one he wrote like 15 years ago? I'm sure it's a gushing love letter to himself full of quips and puns that only Gene Simmons can invent. He probably also jerked off all over his first draft too. Ace Frehley has long been on my list of guitarists that I salivate over. He's the first guitarist I ever heard and immediately fell in love with. I remember listening to his awesomely classic solo on Detroit Rock City and just staring at the record player. Then the album cover. Rinse and repeat. I was mesmerized by it. I still am! Even as I got older I followed Ace's career. I had the Frehley's Comet cassette tape! I think I still do in my parent's basement. And who can forget his other awesome 80s album, Trouble Walkin'? Classic 80s shit right there! BUT! It also had, that I still think to this day, is one of the best instrumentals of all time: Fractured III. 

Circus clowns? Don't even think about wearing face paint.
I invented that. License it from me or don't wear it.

Anyways, back to this summer concert I'm not going to. SO once I saw Ace Frehley is out and some phony loser is taking his place, I just shook my head and said; DAMN. Then of course there's the whole Peter Criss story. So no Ace. No Peter. Just these two replacement hacks wearing their clothes and greasepaint. The whole time I'm thinking, is there seriously a license on the fucking face paint too? Which shouldn't surprise me, after all, another 80s/90s rocker-god I love was contacted by Gene Simmons' lawyer telling him he basically can't wear black and white face paint. Dear, King Diamond, I'll never put money in Gene Simmons wallet again. Ever. Anyways... As I mentioned above... my love/hate relationship. I love Ace obviously... it's Gene Simmons who I loathe. He mad have wrote a few really good tunes and created possibly the most iconic face paint in history but I'll be damned if he isn't the world's biggest cocksucking douchebag. True... While reading or watching his interviews I can honestly say I laugh but I don't know why, I mean, I don't like him but I feel compelled to read his interviews. I guess I'm  a glutton for punishment. 

Anyways... No Ace Frehley means no me at the KISS concert. That would be like going to Black Sabbath and have some dude dressed up as Tony Iommi. Poor, poor decision and a huge slap in the face to not only Ace and Peter (yeah, there's a Peter Criss impostor as well) but to those two members as well.