Before getting into this review I have to state the obvious. I need to let would-be fans know how this review is going to be. I can honestly and unapologetically state that Tom Six is trash and so is this poorly made, attention whoring shock-sequel. The Human Centipede 2 is fucking trash. It's without question the worst movie I've ever seen. It's directors like Tom Six that should inspire aspiring film makers that they too can make it. Hell, after watching this shitty movie I want to pick up a camera to prove that I could make a better film than this piece of shit. This is coming from a guy who enjoyed Hostel, I Spit on Your Grave, Saw, Cannibal Holocaust etc. I love gore and violence and sex in my movies. More often than not I want to see how someone dies in film, I want to see the guts flow out, I want to see blood splatter, screaming, I want disgusting villains doing vile things to humans. The most disgusting thing in this movie was a fucking insect crawling around (I'm terrified of insects). We all know the first film was a piece of dog shit but this one beats it on all levels. There was one review I read that actually said the film was "sick and smart"(?), it's anything but. So now after reading how artistic he felt the film was he loses all creditability in my eyes. HC2 isn't sick and it isn't smart. It's a boring fucking mess of cheap shock and awe, terrible acting, an eye-rolling story and an absolutely ridiculous climax that made me snap my head back and say; "I am a better film maker than Tom Six". There is nothing good about this film.
The film follows fat, disgusting and bug eyed Martin. From the beginning we see that he's so obsessed with the first film that he is having fantasies about actually performing the stupid "100% Medically Accurate Procedure" we all know isn't accurate at all. He has this binder filled with images and every other thing he's obsessed with about the film. Then we find out he lives with his mother who hates his guts. See... Martin was sexually abused by his old man which is why he's a mute and stupid and all that. He somehow manages to have a job too. Anyways... we see him capture his victims and it's just drug out way too long. By the time he had all of his victims I had already stopped caring. So then we're supposed to care that this guy Martin is going to perform this medical experiment. Well he does and he does it as sloppy as you'd expect. Each one more absurd than the rest. I don't care if this is Tom Six brilliantly mocking the audience as some would lead you to believe more than Six just trying to grab attention by making it as shockingly awful as he possibly can.
As the fat man gleefully giggles while each person shits in the other's face (after injecting laxatives in their asses, yeah it doesn't make sense), I didn't know what to think. It wasn't gross it was flat out fucking dumb. So let's see, he uses scissors or knives to cut tendons in their knees, he taps their teeth out with a hammer, staples/duct tapes their face to other person's assholes, so what else can Tom Six do after the fat man rapes and finishes inside the poor Asian woman stuck at the end of the centipede? Oh well, the first woman on the centipede train jams a funnel up his ass and sticks his pet centipede up his asshole. Meanwhile... to shock even more, there was a pregnant women he ended up not using because she can play dead very well... She sits up screaming and hobbles her way outside. Martin doesn't notice immediately because, well, he just got done jizzing inside the Asian woman. He was tired. Anyways this goofy pregnant woman locks herself in the car and has her baby. Yeah, it slides right out onto the floor. Martin chases her and mumbles and yells then goes in and shoots everyone in the head. The biggest and most clever shocker? It was all in his head. Fucking dumb doesn't even describe it. I'll tell you something right now, I enjoyed all four Twilight films more than this poor excuse for trash. Don't even waste your bandwidth torrenting this trash.
Fan-Gasm Score:
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| Absolute Trash. Tom Six tried and succeed in making a dumber movie than the first one. |
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